


The Dishwasher Incident

by MonsterTesk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterTesk/pseuds/MonsterTesk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Honestly, Harry, it's like living with a six foot baboon sometimes." <br/>Harry laughed at that then leaned forward. <br/>"I ever tell you about the dishwasher thing?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dishwasher Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Antha gave me the prompt: "That doesn't go in the dishwasher."  
> This what I came up with.

It's not like Hermione didn't love Ron because she did, truly. It's just that… That sometimes she wished her wasn't so ignorant. The most simple and common sense things are simply beyond him. When he had said yes to moving to muggle London for a year so Hermione could complete her standard education she hadn't expected to need to babysit her adult boyfriend as if he were a wobbly toddler holding a pair of scissors for the first time. 

Just the other day she had to explain to him how taking a bath with the radio on the edge of the tub was a very bad idea and she's not even going to start with the toaster incident. One would think that a man who was raised by a muggle fanatic would know at least _something_ about living in the muggle world but no. 

She might as well be trying to talk about Japanese culture to her neighbor's daughter who, despite her supposed intense love of Japanese culture, had not even the first real inkling of life in Japan. She'd probably need someone to come in and explain how the toilet worked. 

Hermione sat down with a huge sigh of frazzlement next to Harry. 

"Long day?"

Hermione shook her head, hands clasped over her ears. 

"You have no idea."

Harry smiled and pushed a glass over to her. She took a sip. Cider. He knew her so well. 

"Ron try to straight-iron his hair in his sleep?" 

Hermione snorted, breathing in cider. She coughed, hacking cider out of her nose. Harry held up a napkin to her and she took it gratefully, wiping her nose. 

"Please don't give him any ideas, Harry. I don't want to attempt a long distance relationship via the burn ward at Saint Mungos."

Harry laughed, nudging his drink. 

"He's kind of hopeless at the muggle stuff, huh?"

Hermione ran her hand over her hair. 

"Utterly."

"Kind of makes one feel better about all the magic stuff we're oblivious to."

Hermione smiled a tight-lipped little look at Harry. Who simply grinned back over his own glass before taking a drink. She was kidding no one; she couldn't stay mad at Harry. 

"Honestly, Harry, it's like living with a six foot baboon sometimes." 

Harry laughed at that then leaned forward. 

"I ever tell you about the dishwasher thing?"

Hermione leaned in, mirroring Harry.

"No. Do tell." 

"When I first moved in to my apartment, I had Ron over to help me move…"

Hermione nodded. She remembered that move. Ginny had not been happy with the small one bedroom apartment in Soho. Hermione had found it charming and very Harry. The view alone was enough to convince her the place was perfect for him. 

"Well, I told him to go put away some of the perishables I'd just gotten in the cold cupboard, thinking-- like any person would think-- that Ron could handle such a task. I go about my business, unpacking my clothes and some other necessities. Anyway, hour later I get into the kitchen and he's trying to close my dishwasher. I think to myself, 'that's odd, all my dishes are clean.' So I say, 'What're you putting in the dishwasher, mate?' And he turns around like I just zapped him. He is _covered_ in Marmite. Just absolutely covered."

Hermione covered her mouth in horror, absolutely sure she knew where this was going. Harry paused his story to take a sip of his own beverage. 

"Well?"

"Always a sucker to know how the story ends. Hm, 'Mione?"

"Harry…"

"Alright. Alright. I ask him what happened, what was he doing with my dishwasher and he looks at me all gobsmacked, says, 'That's a dishwasher?' I tell him it is, ask him what he put in it. Turns out he was trying to make some nibbles in the bloody thing! He's got bread all stacked in the plate rack, sausage speared on the tines of the glass rack, and _an entire can of beans_ in the soap dispenser."

"Oh. You're lying. You must be. There's no way he'd think-- No. Please tell me this is all a horrible joke at my expense, Harry."

Harry laughed and shook his head. 

"No. No, it gets better. I tell him 'That doesn't go in the dishwasher,' and he nods then stops, says, 'if that's the dishwasher then what's that thing thing in the corner?' and points at the compactor."

Hermione gasped. 

"No! He didn't."

"Yeah, he did. Which is why I took Luna to that charity shop to buy new dish-ware."

"That explains the daisy plates."

Harry nodded and said, "Luna really took a shine to them and the cups with the fat farmers motif."

Hermione started to laugh and didn't stop for a long, long time.

 


End file.
